Death Brings Us Closer
by Izzy Gerard
Summary: Life is unfair, but death is worse. I'm terrible at summaries. Rated T for adult-meaning depressing, not sexual-themes. Warning: character death.


**So this is really, super-duper depressing. I read a fic similar to this, and it nearly made me cry. I also love the song, so I decided to do one. Note: I don't own Glee, Fox, "If I Die Young" by Band Perry, or the cover by Sam Tsui, which is what I'm using. ****That's why the lyrics are different from the original. You should also check out that cover, it's really great. ****I also don't own "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan. Anyway, yeah, I don't own anything. Got it? Good. Don't sue me. Please. I'm broke.**

**Oh, and yes, "Angel" is the song from the depressing dog commercials. Cue sadness.**

* * *

><p><em>If I die young, bury me in satin<br>__Lay me down on a bed of roses  
><em>_Sink me in the river at dawn  
><em>_Send me away with the words of a love song_

Kurt stared down at the casket in front of him, the lid shut, and flowers on the top. _Why did it have to be her?_ He thought as he sang. _She was so innocent, so sweet._ He couldn't believe that she was really gone, the first one to die. She didn't deserve to die, she didn't deserve this fate.

**Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother  
>She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors<br>Oh, and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no**

**Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby  
><strong>

Puck stood next to Kurt, singing to the girl who would never hear his love. He had been in love with her ever since they met in sixth grade, all his sexual exploits were misguided attempts at making his love jealous. Now he would never be able to tell just how he felt. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he thought these words. He was done, crushed. He had nothing left. He was just a Lima loser now with nothing left to fight for and nothing to care about.

_**The sharp knife of a short life  
>Well, I've had just enough time<br>**_

Both boys sang, harmonizing. They had never sung together before, and their voices seemed to agree that this song was worth it. The girl in front of them was worth it. A sort of mutual friendship was grown from her death, both of them equally affected by it.

If I die young, bury me in satin  
>Lay me down on a bed of roses<br>Sink me in the river at dawn  
>Send me away with the words of a love song<p>

The entire glee club joined together, singing mournfully. They all reminisced over their favorite memories of the girl. No matter what, they all had favorite memories of her, even if they acted like they could stand her.

**The sharp knife of a short life**

The boys took the first line, their tenors and basses mixing together, and Kurt's soprano standing out, like always. But this time, it didn't matter. They didn't care. No one really cared about difference that day.

_Well, I've had just enough time  
><em>

All the girls sang this line, their voices much airier and clearer. Most of them had tears in their eyes, including Quinn and Santana who had grown particularly fond of the girl.

_And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom  
><em>_**I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger**_  
><em>I never fell in love with no one<em>

_But it sure felt nice when I held you in the sun_

Santana sang as Quinn accompanied her on harmony, both of them looking dead and depressed. Santana had been so mean to the girl, spitting every insult she could. Some of them didn't even make sense, but were just for sport. That was what sickened Santana the most. She had to pretend she had _fun_ insulting the girl. But really, she was jealous. The girl lying dead in front of her had so much ambition, so many goals, and Santana was just a Lima loser. She would never go anywhere. The girl in the casket, she would've. But now she would never have a chance to show the world just how talented she was.

_**You took my hand, said you'd love me forever  
><strong>_**Who would have thought forever could be severed by  
>The sharp knife of a short life<br>Well, I've had just enough time  
><strong>

Quinn sang, Santana wrapping her arm around the girl. Quinn leaned her head on the Latina's shoulder as the other girl took Brittany's hand. The three were probably the most guilty-feeling. They had tried to suppress talent that was meant to flourish, knowing that the girl was better than them, and now her talent was suppressed forever.

_Whoa—_

_If I die young  
><em>

Mercedes sang, belting out the lyrics as she and Tina took first three lines of the next verse. Tina's voice was timid and cracking, her voice broken as Mike held onto her, and tears ran down her cheeks.

_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar  
>They're worth so much more after I'm a goner<br>And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing_

Puck took the last line, tears falling down his cheeks silently as he prayed to every god in existence to bring his girl back. That was all he wanted, he just wanted her back. He would do anything. He loved her more than anything else, so much sometimes, that it hurt. But she was gone now, and she wasn't coming back.

**Funny, when you're dead how people start listening  
><strong>

He sang the last line, and everyone was silent. All you could hear were the sobs of the Berry parents and Puck's mother. Shelby was there too, feeling especially guilty as the thought about how that was her daughter lying there in a casket, motherless. Shelby had loved Rachel so much, and she would forever let Beth know that her step-sister, the girl Shelby was sure Beth's father was in love with, was a great, great woman. Beth would know how great Rachel was before her life was abruptly ended. She didn't deserve it. Shelby remembered when she found out how her baby girl had died.

_-Flashback-_

_A shot rang through the bank, and everyone fell to the floor. _No_, she thought,_ this can't be happening.

_"Everyone on the floor!" A voice yelled, and Rachel stood still in shock. What was going on? Why was this happening? "I said everyone on the ground!" A man in a ski mask came into view, and another shot was heard. Some of the other patrons screamed at the noise, and a baby started crying._

_"Rachel!" She heard some whisper harshly, and she looked around to see a surprising face. Noah Puckerman was lying on the ground close to her, signaling for her to get on the ground. "Get down!" She shook herself out of her thoughts and fell to the ground near Noah. _

_"What's going?" She asked him, and he checked to make sure the man was near. He shrugged._

_"Guy with a gun walks into a bank. Seriously, Rachel, have you ever seen a cop movie?" He asked, and the baby started screaming. People watched in horror as the man looked around for the sound. When he saw the baby, he strode forward and plucked him up from his hysterical mother's arms._

_"No, not my baby, no!" She exclaimed, and the man held a gun up to the baby's head. Rachel's eyes widened, and she started to stand up._

_"Rachel, what are you doing?" He asked angrily, but she ignored him, standing up._

_"Sir, please-" she tried to reason with the man, but he spun around and pointed the gun at her. "Okay, whoa." She held her hands up in surrender and shifted nervously on her feet. "Put the kid down." She said, and he looked at her, cocking his head._

_"Don't tell me what to do."_

_"Okay, I'm sorry. _Please_ put the kid down. He doesn't deserve to die." She said. "For all you and I know, he's going to invent the cure to cancer. Why would you risk that? Please put the kid down; he's got so much going for him, he doesn't deserve to die before he's even started living."_

_"Shut up." The man barked._

_"Just please, this kid is just an infant. You wouldn't want to kill an-"_

_"I said shut up!" The man yelled louder, but Rachel would have none of it._

_"He has a future that-" This time, she wasn't cut off by words, but a gun shot. Noah watched in horror as she fell to the ground, and people screamed. Noah registered that she was falling, and he stepped up, lunging forward, not caring about the man with the gun behind him. He caught her in his arms. She fell with a thud, and he looked at her wound. He'd shot her clean through the carotid artery, and Noah had paid enough attention in the few biology class to know that being shot in the carotid artery was most definitely _not_ good._

_"Rachel!" He yelled, trying to wake her up. "Rachel, wake up! Please, wake up. Please."_

_"N... Noah." She murmured._

_"I'm right here, baby." He said quietly, brushing her hair back. He vaguely heard the sounds of a struggle behind him, but he didn't care. All he cared was that Rachel was dying. In his arms. "I'm right here."_

_"I'm... I'm scared."_

_"Shh," he assured her, "you have nothing to be scared of. I'll be right here. I won't leave you."_

_"I d-d-don't want... want to d-die." She stuttered, blood dripping down her chin. He looked at her, the girl he loved, with sadness as she visibly weakened. He felt tears in his eyes as he wiped her chin. "I don't want to lea...leave." He nodded and felt tears slip down his cheeks. Their travel made a path down his cheeks and to his jawline where they dropped off, mixing with Rachel's blood. _Damn symbolism, _Puck thought. He moved his hand and cupped her cheek._

_"You won't leave, Rach." He promised, using a nickname he'd wanted to use for a while. "You'll always be here with us. All those dreams, all those big-city, Broadway dreams, they might have to wait," he said to her, his voice laced with unshed tears and pure, raw emotion, "but you'll always be with us. You've made us a family, Rachel, at glee club, and we'll never forget you."_

_"I... stay with me?" She asked, and he nodded, not trusting his voice at this point. She weakly lifted up her hand, and he clasped it in his, kissing the back of her cheek. "T-Thank you."_

_"Of course," he nodded. "Rach, I want to tell you something. I was thinking of telling you after I asked you out, but I'm afraid we're running a little short on time." He tried to joke, and she laughed before wincing in pain. _Smooth, Puckerman, make the dying girl hurt even more.

_"What is it?" Rachel croaked out, and he leaned against their hands, sighing softly._

_"You're my Jewish-American princess, and you know that. But that week when we dated... Rach, that was the best week of my time in high school. You're amazing, Rachel, and you and I both know that you are... uh, _were_ destined for greatness, but no one really ever told you in glee club. You were important to us, somehow, and you know, even Santana cares, and Santana doesn't care about anything." She managed an attempt at a weak smile, and he stared at her lovingly. "I need to tell you this before you go. It's hard for me to say it, to realize you'll be gone as soon as I do, but I need to tell you and there's no way I can't. Rachel," he said, tears falling in steady streams now, "Rachel, I love you."_

_She smiled, and a tear of her own slid down her cheek, cutting through the blood on her cheeks. "I love you... too." She smiled, and he felt himself audibly sob. The last time Noah had really cried... was when his dad left. "Funny time to figure it out."_

_"I really, really love you." He sighed and leaned down, pressing a kiss to her lips quickly, not caring about the blood bubbling up underneath them. "I'll be with you until the end."_

_"S-s-sing to me?" She asked, and he nodded, knowing the perfect song to sing. He brushed her hair back and stared at her with as much love as he could._

Spend all your time waiting  
>For that second chance<br>For a break that would make it okay

_She smiled, recognizing the song. It was strange, with Noah's rough voice. Yes, he knew that this was a girl's song, but he didn't really care about his badassness right now. He cared about Rachel._

There's always one reason  
>To feel not good enough<br>And it's hard at the end of the day

_He heard sirens behind him, but he kept singing to her as the people in the bank watched the pair. His voice cracked, singing to the dying girl in front of him. He heard voices yelling, people talking, and all he could do was keep singing to her. She stared at their hands, their intertwined fingers, and prayed. She prayed, and Noah prayed too, something he hadn't done since his dad skipped out on them. He prayed to every god in history that, if he couldn't have Rachel now, he'd be with her after he died. And then, he vowed, promised over the girl in his lap, that he would be a better person, because he was right now destined for hell, and Rachel was definitely going to heaven._

I need some distraction  
>Oh beautiful release<br>Memory seeps from my veins  
>Let me be empty<br>And weightless and maybe  
>I'll find some peace tonight<p>

_He felt a hand on him, and he shook the man off him, as he watched Rachel squeeze his hand weakly. "Stay with me," he choked out, and kept singing. She nodded, trying and fighting. But he knew she wouldn't last much longer._

In the arms of an angel  
>Fly away from here<br>From this dark cold hotel room  
>And the endlessness that you fear<p>

_He watched as her eyes fluttered shut and the strength in her hand left him, as their hands fell to her chest, and he could feeling her silent heart. The tears began to flow freely now as he realized she was gone, and he started sobbing uncontrollably, resting his head on her chest. "Come back to me, Rachel." He pleaded. "Please, don't leave me here. Come back to me. Please, don't go. I love you, please."_

_"Son," a voice said, "I'm sorry. She's gone."_

_"No!" He yelled, and the man lifted him away from her. Noah kicked and screamed, fighting. "Let me go!" He heard familiar voices behind him, and he saw some of the glee kids there, staring in worry. "No, I have to be with her! Please, God, no! Bring her back! I love her, please, don't leave me here without her! You have to fight, Rachel, please." He sobbed, and all of the power left his body as he collapsed against the man. "Please."_

You are pulled from the wreckage  
>Of your silent reverie<br>You're in the arms of the angel  
>May you find some comfort there<p>

_-Flashback-_

Tears fell as Shelby watched the boy sing. He had been through so much, and just when he had a hope at the end of the tunnel, it was taken from him.

If I die young, bury me in satin  
>Lay me down on a bed of roses<br>Sink me in the river at dawn  
>Send me away with the words of a love song<p>

The entire glee club sang together as the people attending the funeral sang too. People started standing up and putting roses on Rachel's casket, all of them in tears. After those attending had said their goodbyes, the glee members started going. First Mercedes, then Finn, following him were Santana, Quinn, Brittany, Kurt, Blaine, Mike, Tina, Artie, and Sam. They all laid roses on her casket and moved back down. Then, Puck moved forward, ignoring the roses. He looked down at the casket and the tears blurred his vision as a few fell on the wood. He pressed three fingers to his lips and then down on the casket.

"I love you, Rach." He choked out, walking back. The other glee club members surrounding him as they all sang.

The ballad of a dove  
>Go with peace and love<br>Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket  
>Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh<p>

They all stopped singing, and Puck turned around to face the coffin, taking the last line. He put as much emotion as he could into the lyric, hoping that somehow, somewhere, Rachel would hear his love.

_The sharp knife of a short life_

And then he collapsed against them all, letting sobs rack his body. Everyone pulled him into a hug and the Berry fathers, Shelby, and his mother all joined.

"Why her?" He asked no one in particular. "Why did it have to be her? She didn't deserve it." He whispered. "She didn't deserve it."

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R in memory of the Puckleberry that will never be?<strong>


End file.
